I want to talk about fall today. I don’t care if I’m branded as basic for saying this: I LOVE FALL. I love EVERY PART OF IT. I love brisk, crisp days made cozy by thick sweaters and warm-but-still-fashionable boots. I love candles with vague names like “Autumn” and “Leaves” and “Hayride.” I love going for walks and stepping on crunchy leaves. I love cider mill donuts and whiskey ciders sipped by crackling campfires. And I also love pumpkin. Unabashedly. Wholeheartedly. Truly, madly, deeply, all of that. I love it.
Oh, where to begin? I said I was taking a couple weeks off, and it ended up being more like a couple months. And those couple months have been quite the whirlwind, to say the least. I won’t take all day to belabor every detail here, but here’s the abbreviated version: Life got in the way.
This week, after two and a half years of eating mindfully, I finally reached my goal weight. That means that I’m 22 pounds down from where I was at my heaviest in 2014. Exciting, right? I felt like I should have been excited when I stepped on the scale, but then I came to the staggering realization that, even though I focused on getting there for so long, I just didn’t care about that number anymore. Why?
Being able to bake from scratch without a recipe is a beautiful, beautiful skill to have, and it’s one that I’m still honing. Cooking is an incredible art, but there’s something about baking that just feels like the ultimate form of creation. I’ve always had a deep appreciation for the beauty of baking. You take all these humble, seemingly unworkable ingredients, and with a little time, precision, and heat, you can create something that’s so much more than the sum of its parts.
You know those moments when you just have to take a step back and breathe so you don’t absolutely lose your MARBLES because you have so many things to worry about? That’s where I’m at right now. Growing up, I was always the type of person who thrived in chaos. My senior year of high school, I was taking 3 AP courses along with 2 other difficult courses (my only “blow-off” was choir—but I didn’t even treat that like a blow-off), playing two lead roles in musicals an hour away from each other, getting ready for college, and totally, 100% killin’ it.
I’m writing this post the day after I released my blog to the public. When I woke up this morning, I felt so overwhelmed in the best possible way. I never expected people to notice my writing like they did! I assumed people would come for the recipes, but I did not know so many friends and supporters would flock in droves to tell me how proud they were of me. I feel so many things—joy, excitement, and humility, to name a few—but more than anything, I feel so incredibly grateful.
Hi, friends! So far my blogging practice has been massively inconsistent, but don’t worry; I’m here to address that today. There’s been a lot weighing on my mind lately, and I think that laying it out here will help me sort it out.